” There is a light at the end of the tunnel ”
They seemed to say it over, and over, and over again. Like clueless drones sent to exhaust my exhaustion.
” Things will get better. ”
They didn’t know, they didn’t understand, they were them and I was me.
Or was I?
There was a time when I’d feel like an outsider in my own life, my own head, my own body. There was a time I’d never feel good enough for anything. Or even that I wanted to.
This time was all the time.
” How long have you been feeling depressed? “. The doctor asked me.
” This is me, this is my life, I’ve always felt like this. ” I said. Then I tried to recall if I really ever had felt any different. My recollections confirmed my first response. They consisted of crying myself to sleep, not on the odd occasion. But it actually being unusual that I didn’t.
I recalled feeling lost, unwanted, confused, unidentifiable. And yet not having them these words to describe it.
I recalled wondering why I was here, why I was breathing, existing, taking up space. I hated my parents for meeting each other. I wished they never met.
Why am I saying all this? Because now I know the truth.
The truth is they didn’t understand, they didn’t get it, but now I do. I know there is a way out of depression. I know there is a way to see life in colour after only ever being exposed to a monochromatic view of life.
I know that I didn’t get what I needed, it cost me so much time, so much emotion, so much, life.
But now things are different. And I didn’t believe they could be. So if perhaps you, or someone you know, maybe someone you care about is struggling to see worth in themselves of their life.
Please don’t give up, please keep showing them you care, please keep telling them the world needs them. Please, tell them that people have escaped mentall illness. The answer may not be with your therapist, your GP, or even your family. But somewhere deep within you. It’s there. It’s burning like a little glowing ember that’s lost in a cave. It continues to live with every opportune draft of oxygen it gets. And it is waiting for you to find it, to blow it, to fuel it and burn that motherfucker into your life, into who you are, into being your authentic self and realising how fucking strong you are. It will remind you that you are bad ass. That you have survived every shitty fucking thing that has been put in your way and you are still here!!
There is nobody else like you on this planet, in this lifetime. Someone somewhere will have a better life just because you were a part of it.
Sounds cliche but it’s true. And now, now after all that time not being able to comprehend joy. Now I know it’s true.
The world needs you.
It needs you To be.
It needs you to be you.
I promise x
Ashley – Hypno Mama x
I provide a service of Clinical Hypnotherapy Treatments combined with personal coaching. I use a range of approaches to help you achieve your desired outcomes depending on your individual needs and wants.
Hypnotherapy is an effective way of making long lasting changes in your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
Often the NHS prescribes us cheap pharmaceutical antidepressants to overcome out symptoms. Bringing on unwanted side effects, and failing to heal the wounds that cause our depressive states.
Remember we are all different so one person’s recovery journey may not be the way for you.
If you would like to discuss treatment, workshops or anything else please contact me via the form below: