My arthritis journey..

This has taken some serious balls to post to tell you the truth.. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ And Iโ€™m only posting with the love and support of my Growth Club Girls! ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿฝ๐ŸŒป and because my son took these pictures and then showed me that he added these โ€œLOVE YOURSELFโ€ graphics to the photo. ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ It hit me hard. ๐Ÿ˜ญ


๐ŸŒป I shared in the Growth Club group chat ๐Ÿ’ฌ and although it terrified me to post this, if my son was saying this, I had to.๐Ÿ˜ข I think Iโ€™ve been scared of people writing me off as โ€œdisabledโ€. I donโ€™t want people to think โ€œOh shes disabled now what a shame.โ€ I donโ€™t want my prospective clients to decide not to hire me.. To decide not to invite me to things because I might not be able to keep up on my feet.. and the rest. I want people to think of me the same way they did before.. Hopefully an intelligent and powerful woman who loves her kids and is passionate about helping people. And can do it!!
๐ŸŒป Iโ€™ve had such a love hate relationship with this wheelchair!!! ๐Ÿฆฝ Iโ€™d love to be super positive about it, but I havenโ€™t posted about it because that hasnโ€™t been my reality. And if you know me, you know I can only be ME. When my mobility became severely restricted in December I was desperate for a wheelchair so that I could at least get out of the house and breathe fresh air. Being stuck to the bed or the sofa or the hospital bad really brought me down. My family and especially my best friend were beyond amazing. I got so incredibly desperate for a wheelchair!! And then when we finally got one we could go outside!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
We had a few giggles ๐Ÿคญ and it was so nice to be outdoors, seeing different things, feeling fresh air on my face and seeing the kids run around!! ๐Ÿƒ But it was brutal. I held back the tears as I was restricted to the chair and found my attention was now on the curbs, or the bumps or getting out of the way of people and is the person pushing me getting tired? ๐Ÿค”
But you know me, focus on the good!! But then the more people I have come across, the more I have been shocked at how Iโ€™ve been completely ignored. The more people avoid eye contact. People completely ignore you. And I mean.. You say โ€œexcuse me is there a shop down this way?โ€ And more than one just completely blank you as if you are FUCKING INVISIBLE!!! ๐Ÿ˜ข Not everyone is like this. Some people just avoid eye contact, and some people smile and say hello. ๐Ÿ™‚ Which then becomes heart warming but rare.
๐ŸŒป Being in a seated position like this also isnโ€™t good for me, I sit on a bouncy ball to work and my sofas all recline thank goodness. I am still on a journey with my health, my mobility. If you catch me on a good day you might not even be able to tell Iโ€™m in pain or Iโ€™m struggling. But then that one good day can cost me a week of mobility.
๐ŸŒป I know there is loads of positive empowering content for wheelchair users, and Iโ€™d love to be the one sharing that. But all I can do at this point is tell my truth at this stage. And my truth is, although I am seriously thankful I have this chair. Iโ€™m doing my everything I possibly can to not need it every day. Iโ€™m not sharing this for sympathy! Iโ€™m sharing this so that maybe when you see someone in a wheelchair you donโ€™t write them off completely. I was never brought up that way I have some lovely friends who are wheelchair users and fortunately the people in my life are shocked at the treatment. But we do have a big problem here in the UK for inclusivity and representation.
๐ŸŒป I will try my best to share #myarthritisjourney and so far Iโ€™ve come on such a long way!! And I hope this post is met with understanding and not being negative, but bravely my being honest.
I will be sharing posts like these and on #bodypositivity on my curve modelling page with hashtag #curvesandcrutches

https://www.instagram.com/aylacurve

Published by Hypno Mama

Hypnotherapist, Mama & Woman in the world. ๐ŸŒŽ ๐Ÿ’œโœŒ๐Ÿผ

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